Against...

Hola! Tonight is the 3rd night I'm here in my hostel room. Struggle hard for my final exam (but still have time 4 bloging!:>). My parents sent me back here on Saturday afternoon , my final start on Monday, so I have 1 day time to get prepared for the 'war'!
So, I already done for my first exam paper today, BEL 120 paper a.k.a Consolidating Language Skills/ Preparatory English. Quite hard. Actually everything is hard for me! :>
2morrow also an English paper is waiting for me-BEL 130 a.k.a. Communication Skills.
Huh.. I hope the best 4 2morrow. Allah bless me!
Well, last night, something bad was happened to me. My Thermos broke down into pieces.. It happened suddenly n s spontaneously. I'm still shocked until now.
Know what, this few days my room's row always black-out. This morning, 3 time blacked-out! 4am, 6am n 7 am. Also, our row's toilet already black-out for 4 days. Just imagine, if want to settle 'the thing' on a middle of the night... Huh.. I wonder why the hostel warden didn't notice about it And our row's water cooler had spoil for donno how many time already.
Black-out is one of the reason why my Thermos broke. Huh..
That's all.. 88!!!:>

发抖了。。

已经2.48am,我还是睡不着，明天就要回去了。其实，也不算明天啦，都两点凌晨了。
我是有点想睡，但是睡不着。。可能想太多了吧！下个拜一，就要大考了，我还没读什麽书，只是所谓看一点点而已。。
所以觉得怕是应该的！
以前中小学时候，就算我没做什麽考试准备，我都不会觉得怎样。但是现在情况，完全不一样了！
我真的很不喜欢现在的感觉！！！！ 我的心不停的跳，噼啪噼啪。。啊哟。。真的好无奈噢。。
还没有进考场，我都紧张了，进考场后，我更不敢想像啊！！以前考SPM时我都还轻轻松松的，这还不过是大学大考而已嘛。。
不管我怎样说服自己，我心里还是一样怕。。
可能以前我还不够成熟。所以还不懂这种的怕。但是现在的我也不是成熟到哪里去啊！！！
我弟的手表的铃声都响了。已经三点了。
知道吗？ 我要进大学的过程不是很简单容易。。
我的SPM成绩不是很棒，只是几科A而已。。本来我觉得我可能是没机会进入政府大学了，因为我申请了很多政府学院啊，什麽政府师训啊，都没得。。算了，我想我还是先工作，存钱拿licence ，然后在找私人学院，读我想读的course。
虽然我有这样的决定，但是我还是没完全放气我要在政府大学读的梦想。每次，我听到申请的成绩公布，我都会上网查看我的名字有在吗？但是，一次又一次的失望了。
直到有一天下午，雨下得很大，刚好那天我没工作，所以坐在电脑前上网在查一查。
当我查到我的名有在马来西亚其中一间的政府大学时，我心里有多么的开心啊！！妈妈还抱着我呢，爸爸的脸上也一直露出笑容。
全家人都为我高兴！！谢谢ALLAH，因为听了我每一天每一夜的祈祷。
不过，问题又来了。我爸妈付不起学费，我也差点要放弃了。但是我爸妈不给，他俩说，无论如何，他俩都会找钱来还我的学费。
当时。ALLAH再次的帮我了。刚好我的姑姑要给ZAKAT，所以呢，她就给了我RM580来还我的学费，那笔钱虽然还是不够，但是中算是已经减轻我爸妈的负担了。
就这样，我进入了大学。进入大学后又有 Minggu Destini Siswa @Minggu Orientasi. 但是我们把它称为Minggu Dera Siswa!为什麽？ 因为我们真的被欺负啊！每一天早早就被叫醒了。然后好要跑上跑下的，又一只给学姐学哥们喊，晚上又迟睡。真的好累噢。但是MDS也不完全是不好的啦。他们也帮了我们不少东西。所以还是很感谢他们啦！：>
接下来的日子，就不一样过了。
大学与学校的世界。更本不一样。大学很自由，一天里的课也不会很多。但是功课就很多。整天assignment的。
坦白讲，我不大能适应那边的生活。为什麽呢？秘密。。
可能那边的生活太自由了，偶尔我差点忘记我到哪里的目的是什麽。妈妈经常打来给我，叫我好好读书，保重。她每次都会提醒我，爸爸是怎样辛辛苦苦的赚钱来补我在大学的的生活费，书费，学费等。其实我一次都没忘过这些。我会牢牢地记住的。
爸妈都希望我能成功，将来做弟弟们的好榜样。更希望我后天可以做一位好律师，帮穷人。
虽然我自己还不能肯定，律师这份工作是适合我的吗？
我也不知道。我到底哪里出错了，让我今晚真的觉得很害怕要做考试。
比起中学考SPM时我考十三科，我都不会怎样。现在，只是在短短的两个礼拜里考五科而已，都把我的心情搞乱了。
我越觉得，我越不了解自己了。我内心到底发生什麽事了？为什麽我没想以前很有信心？到底哪里出错了？
烦死人了！！！
我真的很怕。怕我做不到，怕我写不到，怕我想不到，怕我pass不到，最怕，怕我爸妈失望。 我真的舍不得看他们为我失望，为我流泪。我真的怕，万一我真的做不到，那就这么办？我要怎样告诉他们？我这么舍得看他们对我伤心失望的脸？
为了我，他们已经牺牲了一切。为了我，他们可以什麽都不要。为了我，他们可以新年时，一件新衣都不买给他们。为了我，愿意饿着肚子不吃，还我的学费。没有他们，就不可能有今天的我了。
所以呢，我怎么会不怕？我不是为了我自己怕，而是我怕不能让他们为了我开心，感到光荣与骄傲。我怕，如果考出来的成绩那么烂，怎么报答他们啊？
YA ALLAH，帮帮我吧。我会一直努力的。只是，身为一个人，我时常会做错，时常会粗心，时常会忘记.那你就保佑我吧。。
AMIN。。

Pacific!!!!!!!!!!

Hola.. Last Monday (13 Sept 2010) I when to Pacific with my brothers!
I love to go out with them!!
We went there by Rapid Bus (Aizat love to ride Rapid bus very much!! Although we huv a car of our our own!) 1st, we wen to McDonald, act I used to promise him to treat him a meal at McD,n he is claiming back de promise.
Like usual, we went to POPULAR, he find his book n Im just watched. We played game together, we dine out together, I love that!
I love to spent my time wif my family!! :>

Syurga Cinta.. Heaven of Love..

Or suppose I say heaven of TRUE LOVE? :>
Just finish watching Syurga Cinta at TV3 1 of de Movie Raya, starring Awal sumthing ( I 4got his full name) Awal Ashari, if I not mistaken, n Heliza AF5.
Intresting movie, almost same as Ar-Rayyan(1 of weekend drama at tv3, starring Raja Farah n I 4get!:>)
Well, I quite in touch wen I watched dat movie.
Hope some1 can sincerely love me. Or hoping some1 can changed bcause of me, but sure I will prefer if he changed bcause of Allah.
Dat movie stated 3 things dat hard 4 me to 4get, is about 'JODOH'.

Jodoh divided into 3;
1st is Jodoh from de Satan,
Which is, 2 people met, sure 2 different sex people of course, n they keep holding each other hand, n soon de girl will pregnant n den they married. Dis is de 1st type of Jodoh.

2nd is Jodoh from Jin,
Which is a guy met a girl, but de girl dindt like the guy, de de guy potioned the girl or using magic upon the girl through the jin. Den the girl like de guy n they get married. This is de 2nd type of Jodoh.

3rd is Jodoh from Allah,
Which is a pure Jodoh dat really cum from the greatest Allah.
1st time see each other, den de guy ask de girl's parents for a permission to get marry wif de girl, den de girl accept it. dat is de 3rd type of Jodoh. N I hope I can achieve it!!

Talked about Jodoh, everyone hope day can get the right Jodoh for their own. But life in not going like wat we r planning. So to get a right Jodoh, we should pray sincerely to Allah.
My mum always reminded me about dat. She always said that:
' A good man is for a good woman, and a good woman is made for a good man;
while;
A bad man is for a bad woman , and a bad woman is made for a bad man too.'

I dont know whether I agree with dat statement or not,
because nowadays we can see many marriage are not successful,some of it husbands are good but not their wives, and some of it wives are good but not their husbands, so?
Actually, that's all are percaturan Allah.
We dont know what actually are hiding disebaliknya.
As a good and loyal slave, wat we can do is continuously pray for de good, n dont ever 4get Allah in wat situation at all.

Actually I love to watched other people wedding. 4me it still long time to go b4 I get married. And wif my physically looked, no man will willingly or sincerely to accept me as their bride.

I love to watched Syurga Cinta, Im touched wen I watched det movie!
Thanks to hero brother too.. his idea is brilliant!!

1 Syawal of 2010

1 Syawal 2010. Same like last year, Wake up at 6am, take a bath, perform Subuh prayer, den went to nearest mosque to perform solat sunat hari raya.. Den pay a visit to my grandparents grave from both side mummy n papa..
Den went to my house 三姨家， 绕槟城。Nite, I huv gathering with my old friends.
So happy to meet dem again. How I miss dem very much.. After school, everyone huv their own path, so hard to meet wif each other again.. So, I wont let go such a chance.
First, we chatting at Indahman Cafe. Den we proceed to AUTO CITY!!
First we spent about an hour at McDonald.
Den we went for a walk at auto city 'town'..
After tired from de walked, we went to Authentic Asian Sushi Tao道 Cuisine&Lounge..

Chit Chat n bla bla bla until almost 2am, den I home.
Although Im very tired , but im still very happy cause i can meet with my old friend!!
Dis is my 1st day of Syawal @ Raya Aidilfitri..